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  • Writer's pictureJack Hager

"What's it like to have cancer, Jack?"

To answer that question I first must say - this is what it is like for me. There is no one-size-fits-all.

To clarify; I have been diagnosed with myeloma (a blood cancer) as well as kidney disease. I take a chemo pill daily for 14 days; then a week off; rinse/repeat. I receive a chemo injection twice a week for two weeks, then a week off; rinse/repeat.

So far the side effect is incredibly dry mouth (which is fairly common for those receiving chemo). I do get fatigued easier (is that because of the chemo or because I'm older than dirt?).

So thus far its been, well, easy for me.

Except it isn't.

Having cancer is living with a question mark. In one sense we all do...not knowing what the future holds...but for me the biggest pain of this cancer is uncertainty.

Not so much as in when will I croak; but how can I plan? Will my treatment rotation stay the same? If they adjust the chemo will there be more severe reactions?

It stinks. I know it is minor compared to the horrendous road some cancer patients must walk. But it is a pain.

We know that life is always uncertain; having cancer just brings more focus to that truth.

I do not think about dying. I do not cry out "Why me?" I am living, not dying. I may have cancer, but cancer does NOT have me.

Because of my life/ministry contacts, I have over 400 people specifically praying for me. They receive regular updates; not "just" of the cancer, but of life in general. (if you'd like to be on that list, email me jack.hager@gmail.com).

So day to day, week to week, month to month is a question mark.

What is NOT a question mark is this - one glad morning when this life is 'ore, I'll fly away. Because of Jesus I will slip out of this body and be in His presence. That is not a hope; dream; feeling...it is fact.

And in that I rest.




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