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  • Writer's pictureJack Hager

>The Lost Scottish Bagpiper


Okay, I don’t know if this is true or not; but it is rather funny: As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless Scotsman who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods country area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul as a salute to the fallen Scotsman. As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I’d never played before, from “Going Home” and “The Lord is My Shepherd” to “Flowers of the Forest“. I closed the lengthy session with fine tradition with the pipes by playing “Amazing Grace” and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, Sweet Jeezuz, Mary ‘n Joseph, I have never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years!

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